Posts tagged ‘mother’

May 18, 2012

That Loving Feeling

by pastortimfowler

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aunto/3281711078/

Falling in love is a weird term. It isn’t biblical nor is it something that really happens. Growing in love would be a better term. Yet Hollywood and TV land are constantly making shows that tell the story of two people who meet and know from the start that they are in love. (Yawn). I have experienced lust at first sight, and that happened more than once, but never love at first sight. There are many who will probably argue with me on this one, but far too often we confuse love and lust. And, most people have no idea of what love really is. Dictionary.com gives this definition for love. A noun; a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I don’t care for the definition as a stand alone meaning, but even this can’t happen at first meeting. The Bible gives this meaning for love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant.
5 It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs.
6 It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.
7 Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.
8 Love never comes to an end…
Certainly, this doesn’t happen at first sight.
This brings up the other side of the argument, can you fall out of love? I say no. There are a couple of reasons for my answer. First, the biblical definition of love says that love never ends. Now this is based on pure love, God’s type of love. Not a lustful, self-centered love, but one that is sacrificial and serving of others. The Bible says that God is love. Because of that, we have the ability to love like Him. This is the perfect love that never ends. God never stops loving. Some may say this isn’t true because God punishes sin, but like a father punishes a son that he loves, God does so too. God’s love is extended to every human on earth that ever has, is, or will live. This is done through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, as payment for our sins. Sadly, many are blinded by misinterpretations of God’s word and ignorance of the total concept of the Bible, and never see this love. But for any who will seek Him, love can be found.
This type love is extended through married couples and families. This is another reason that I say you don’t fall out of love. A mother loves a child. If that child grows to be a mass murderer, the mother still loves the child. Sure she can be disappointed and ashamed, but she does not stop loving the child. This love is deeply engrained in who a mother is. Her love is not conditional, it is a part of her very being.
My parents were married for 21 years when they got a divorce. My dad was an alcoholic and became abusive. Finally, my mother couldn’t stand it any longer and filed for divorce. They did the typical divorce couple fights and said mean, hateful things about each other. Many years later, when my mother died of cancer, my dad cried like a baby at her funeral. He told me that he never stopped loving her, but that he had allowed his love for her to become inactive due to drinking.
My mother told me several times before she died that she still loved my dad. She said the love that used to show in their relationship stopped being nurtured and so it stagnated. She said that after years of wanting to feel the love flow and not being able to caused her to lose hope, but not love.
We must be very careful to not let love become defined as warm fuzzy feelings. We must constantly work to show love so that is doesn’t become stagnant. Stagnant waters are where disease and filth tend to gather. Love is far too beautiful for that to happen. Love must be given away as freely as we want to receive it. It can never become a one way street or we will risk becoming stagnant.
There is a great old song that is sung in many a karaoke parties called, You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling. You can lose the feeling, but love never ends.
Don’t let the ones you love, lose that loving feeling.

June 20, 2011

Free Marriage Counseling

by pastortimfowler

Genesis 2:24
That is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Before the church was started, before sacrifices were started, and before the Bible was ever written, God created the institute of marriage. It was His idea to unite a man and a woman for the sake of being one unit working together for the better of each other and to grow a family. He did not create marriage to be 2 men, 2 women, a man and a bunch of women, a woman and a bunch of men, or any other combination that may or may not include animals.
He created marriage and told us that this would be the reason that a man would leave his father and mother. Yes, it is time to move out when you get married. There is not a healthy situation in which you and your wife should stay in your parents house. If they have lots of land and another house can be put on this land, then that may be suitable, but always remember that it says that he should leave his father and mother.
It tells us that the two, husband and wife, should be united. This means that they begin new life as one. They no longer have his stuff and her stuff and my stuff and your stuff, they now have their stuff. Bank accounts, bills, dreams, and disasters are now all shared, along with the responsibilities that come along with being adults. The more stuff you don’t share the more likely that the unity is challenged and the marriage will break down.
Next we are told that the two shall become one flesh. Many believe that this means that they will have a sexual relation and I agree, but, not just for the sake of having sex. The purpose of sex in this account to be one flesh has the meaning of reproducing. (Genesis 1:28~ God blessed them and said, “Be fertile, increase in number, fill the earth,…” ) That is why the idea that marriage is anything but a man and a woman is ridiculous. Only a man and a woman can make babies naturally. When the sperm and the egg join together, the two unite and become one flesh, thus fulfilling the command given to the couple.
Marriage can be a challenge that is greater than most anything we will do with another human. It is a life time venture that truly does take in the better or the worse, richer and poorer, and sickness and health. But like anything else in this world, if is valuable, it is worth working hard for. The most gratifying things in the world are the things that you work the hardest for. Marriage is no different.
There is such great wisdom in the Bible and we live in a time when we all need to seek wisdom, especially in our marriages. God is the creator and founder of marriage. He knows how they work successfully and how to heal them that are broken. We will take our dogs to the vet, cars to the mechanic, and computers to the geek, but we won’t take our marriages to a counselor. That is a matter of pride and that is selfish and that violates the command to be united.
As a veteran of 31 years of marriage, I am fully qualified to speak on all areas of pride, selfishness, and all things counter-productive to a healthy, God-based marriage. BUT…I am also the recipient tons of grace and mercy and patience that has allowed me to soak up a bit of wisdom. I have swallowed my pride and sought counseling and have been blessed with the healing from God of one of His most precious gifts, marriage.
My marriage is not perfect, but it is better than most. It is not broken, but has a few scars. It is strong though and a great example of how letting God have His way can allow the joy that He intended for a couple to be experienced on a regular basis. God used a wise man to counsel us and it helped save our marriage and strengthen it to the point that we can now help others. As part of my ministry, I have been blessed to be able to counsel others and will continue to do so, free of charge. Too often I hear that couples can’t afford counseling and therefore don’t seek it. Although I can’t promise to heal your marriage, that is up to you, I can promise to help and never let money stand in the way. I wish that every couple could experience the type marriage that I have and because of that, I will always offer free marriage counseling.
(You can reach me through http://www.thebodylive.com or respond through the comments section of this blog.)