Posts tagged ‘funny’

March 16, 2012

What Were You Thinking?

by pastortimfowler


My beautiful wife and I have been married a long time and one of the reasons is that we keep the romance alive. One of the ways we do this is by having regular date nights. Tonight is one of those and I am really excited about it. My one worry is that it is her night to plan it. Not that she doesn’t plan great things, but she usually has one thing in mind at the end of the date, and we know what I’m talkin’ ’bout. I guess it is a sacrifice that I will have to make.
Some of you are thinking some really weird things right now. I won’t even go into the details of what I know that you are thinking. What I will say is that your marriage could benefit from some of the same. It is sad that many marriages are lacking in this area. Couples much younger than us, are neglecting such an important part of their marriage. Why when we were in our twenties and thirties we use to do it for hours. Most of the time we would do it at home, but we were not afraid to do it in public. She actually likes to do it in public places. She says it shows everyone how lucky she is to have me. What can I say, I am blessed in that area.
I remember when we were first married, I thought everyone did it as much as we did. Many times we would do it several times a day and didn’t need a date night to start things going. Sometimes we would wake up and do it before we ever got out of bed. I use to love it when she would wake me up in the middle of the night for it. Wow, that just don’t happen enough anymore. One of my favorite places to do it was in the kitchen. One time we got into it so much that we forgot about the meal that was in the oven and had to go out to eat. Don’t get me wrong, we still do it in the kitchen, but now we use the microwave timer to keep us from forgetting about dinner.
Most people assume that this is something the pastor and his wife are naturally great at. Early in our ministry we would help couples to overcome some of their struggles in this area. It was always hard to get them to relax and be natural in front of us, but this was the best way that we felt we could help them. Sure they could have told us some of the struggles that they were having, but actually seeing it was best. We could politely interrupt and demonstrate what we do, then let them try it our way. Sometimes it was really funny when to watch the looks on their faces when we messed up. But most of the time our technique worked and both of them were satisfied.
God has blessed us with a great marriage and this one area is a major part of our happiness. I really think that if we weren’t so good at doing this, our marriage would not be so fulfilling. So that is one of the reasons we have date night. This is why she initiates it so often. Lets just say it bluntly. She loves it. Sometimes I swear, she can’t do it enough. I usually quit before she is ready to quit, but I let her finish while I just sit there. Thirty-two years together now and we still love to do it. Man, there is nothing like good conversation.
What were you thinking I was talking about?

December 31, 2011

No More This Year

by pastortimfowler

I have decided that this will be the last blog that I do for the rest of the year. I figure that I will start back sometime next year. Please be patient and don’t panic. For my last blog of 2011, I thought it would be good to say thanks to everyone who has read any of my blogs and share a few last thoughts for the year.
I do read every bit of feedback that I get. I do not post every reply because some are not appropriate to be posted on a church website, where all of my blogs are posted. Some are simply personal and other are redundant. But I do read and appreciate your feedback.
This year was the first time that I have ever attempted to blog on a regular basis. It has been quite challenging to not get repetitive and to continually come up with something worth reading. Some of you are waiting patiently for that to happen still. I have found some of the best ideas for blogs come from you guys. Many this year have come from one particular friend who loves to challenge me and I think that she likes to give topics that she knows that I will get blasted for. I do enjoy the challenge and I hope that next year more people will offer suggestions for topics. As you can tell, I don’t shy away from many, even though I probably should.
It has been my goal to be honest, biblical, and funny. To challenge you to think outside of what is comfortable and to learn from the things that others respond back with. I try hard to state plainly when it is an opinion and I try even harder to not offend, although that is virtually impossible. I do wish that some people would not get so uptight about things that are clearly one person’s opinion or even an attempt at humor. Humor is one of my favorite tools, no matter how lame the attempt.
My life has been a roller coaster of experience from one extreme to the other. Through it all, God has been very merciful and has not yet killed me for being stupid from time to time. Instead, He has allowed me to learn from my mistakes, given me an abundance of chances to change for the better, I hope. I believe that it is God that motivates me to share my life and thoughts through these blogs and I will do my best to always give Him the WOOHOO’s that He deserves.
Thanks again for reading. 2011 was pretty good, 2012 is going to be great!

October 5, 2011

You Said What?!?!

by pastortimfowler

I want to thank my friend for the question that spawned yesterday’s blog about cremation. It was one of the most responded to blogs I have ever had. Because of her suggestion I have to go into the witness protection program and see a therapist twice a week for the next couple of hours. Wow, who’da thunk it, that people were so passionate about something?
Blogs are a great tool for people to use to make others angry. That is not why I blog. I blog because my wife said I should. Okay, that is why I started, now I blog because I am an addict and can’t stop. But I do enjoy it. I try to be sensitive to the fact that people can get their feelings hurt pretty easy these days and will occasionally throw out something to get you thinking. But, I will never intentionally misrepresent what the Bible says nor will I intentionally say something that is offensive.
I was actually accused of misrepresenting what the Bible says about cremation. Of course no one took the time to give scripture to back their claim, but that’s okay, I am used to that. I really don’t think it would matter if there was a cut and dry verse that said the cremation was wrong, that would not change some people’s minds. It does not stop people from getting drunk, lying, or having sex outside of marriage. But my intent was not to sway anyone from being or having someone cremated. I was simply asked what I thought about it.  I try to put my thoughts in line with the way I read the Bible. That is how I form most of my opinions, and yesterdays blog was my opinion, as I clearly stated in the opening.
I never said that it was wrong, sinful, or anti-Christian. What I said was no where in the Bible does a person who follows God get cremated as the preferred way of disposing of their bodies. I am NOT talking about anyone who was burned as torture and a hostile act. But there is nothing I can find in the Bible that says, Thou shalt not cremate. So if you want to be cremated or have someone you know cremated, I say burn baby burn!
One thing I do want to make clear is that my blogs are best understood by people who have very low IQ’s or, are on drugs. If you are not understanding where I am coming from, you must be extremely intelligent and/or sober. If you do understand my blogs and you are very smart and sober, or if you have sudden loss of hearing, vision or a rapid heartbeat, consult you doctor immediately as these my be signs that you should not be reading my blogs at all.
Seriously, though, I want to thank everyone who reads these things. I try to have a little fun when I can. I try to answer anyone’s questions when they are asked. I try to make it clear when I am giving an opinion over a fact, and I always try to be true to scripture. I always read your responses and appreciate them, so don’t stop.
Blogging is so much fun. I think it should be an Olympic sport. (Winter Olympics)