Posts tagged ‘child’

December 5, 2012

Surviving The Storm

by pastortimfowler

5879848337_329554c941_b

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13013135@N00/5879848337/

As you might have noticed, I have not been putting out blogs at the pace I normally do. There has been a lot going on that has demanded my attention and so I had to eliminate some things from my daily routine temporarily. As if the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons are not busy and hectic enough, I have had to deal with several other issues that added to “the storm”.
I like to call things that keep me extra busy storms because it sounds much more dramatic than just saying that I have been too busy to do some stuff. A storm makes you think that winds are raging and thunder and lightning are threatening and the danger element is really high. So if I had to be really honest about it, I guess instead of a storm, I have been in a rain event.
Rain events are nothing to be laughed at. During a good rain, things can get really wet and even cold and that does not feel good. Rain can make you want to sleep more and forget about going outside to do other stuff. Rain may sound innocent, but let me tell you, until you have seen the rain that I have seen, you don’t have a clue. And then if it rains on a Monday, well, rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
Probably the worst thing about the rain in life is when you get those breaks where the sun comes out, so you go outside and don’t wear a raincoat or take an umbrella and you are scared that it may rain again and get your hair wet. That can cause a lot of stress. I mean, what if it really does start raining again? Then what?
I was out in the middle of a big field one time and did not have a raincoat or an umbrella and it started raining. At first it was a gentle mist, but then it became a constant mist, and, add in the wind, or breeze, and it was like being in the middle of a field getting wet and there was nothing you could do about it. Although it only lasted a few minutes, I got wet. And, although I shave my head and so my hair was not affected, I felt the stress that others who might have hair would have felt if they were out in that field too. And for those who would scoff at this, later that day, it rained really hard and I was a bit shaken at the thought of how, if that would have happened while I was out there, that I could have gotten really wet.
So, although what I have been through is not really a storm of life, but rather a rain event, I wanted you to know that I am fine. I have relied on my years of experience to get me through it. I also try to remember that even though the rain of life is tough, there are people who are going through the storms of life, and in those storms there is most often rain. So if you just think about the rain and block out the thunder and lightning and raging wind and all the really bad stuff that goes along with a storm, and just think about the rain, then you will understand what I am going through and you won’t be so critical about me not blogging for a while.
Yes, God can calm the storm. Sometimes He chooses to clam the child in the storm. But when it is just raining, God is still there.

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May 18, 2012

That Loving Feeling

by pastortimfowler

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aunto/3281711078/

Falling in love is a weird term. It isn’t biblical nor is it something that really happens. Growing in love would be a better term. Yet Hollywood and TV land are constantly making shows that tell the story of two people who meet and know from the start that they are in love. (Yawn). I have experienced lust at first sight, and that happened more than once, but never love at first sight. There are many who will probably argue with me on this one, but far too often we confuse love and lust. And, most people have no idea of what love really is. Dictionary.com gives this definition for love. A noun; a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I don’t care for the definition as a stand alone meaning, but even this can’t happen at first meeting. The Bible gives this meaning for love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant.
5 It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs.
6 It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.
7 Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.
8 Love never comes to an end…
Certainly, this doesn’t happen at first sight.
This brings up the other side of the argument, can you fall out of love? I say no. There are a couple of reasons for my answer. First, the biblical definition of love says that love never ends. Now this is based on pure love, God’s type of love. Not a lustful, self-centered love, but one that is sacrificial and serving of others. The Bible says that God is love. Because of that, we have the ability to love like Him. This is the perfect love that never ends. God never stops loving. Some may say this isn’t true because God punishes sin, but like a father punishes a son that he loves, God does so too. God’s love is extended to every human on earth that ever has, is, or will live. This is done through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, as payment for our sins. Sadly, many are blinded by misinterpretations of God’s word and ignorance of the total concept of the Bible, and never see this love. But for any who will seek Him, love can be found.
This type love is extended through married couples and families. This is another reason that I say you don’t fall out of love. A mother loves a child. If that child grows to be a mass murderer, the mother still loves the child. Sure she can be disappointed and ashamed, but she does not stop loving the child. This love is deeply engrained in who a mother is. Her love is not conditional, it is a part of her very being.
My parents were married for 21 years when they got a divorce. My dad was an alcoholic and became abusive. Finally, my mother couldn’t stand it any longer and filed for divorce. They did the typical divorce couple fights and said mean, hateful things about each other. Many years later, when my mother died of cancer, my dad cried like a baby at her funeral. He told me that he never stopped loving her, but that he had allowed his love for her to become inactive due to drinking.
My mother told me several times before she died that she still loved my dad. She said the love that used to show in their relationship stopped being nurtured and so it stagnated. She said that after years of wanting to feel the love flow and not being able to caused her to lose hope, but not love.
We must be very careful to not let love become defined as warm fuzzy feelings. We must constantly work to show love so that is doesn’t become stagnant. Stagnant waters are where disease and filth tend to gather. Love is far too beautiful for that to happen. Love must be given away as freely as we want to receive it. It can never become a one way street or we will risk becoming stagnant.
There is a great old song that is sung in many a karaoke parties called, You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling. You can lose the feeling, but love never ends.
Don’t let the ones you love, lose that loving feeling.

March 2, 2012

Child Addiction

by pastortimfowler

My wife is addicted to little children. Our own children are grown and cannot or will not produce babes fast enough for her. So she has a plan to have every baby and little kid at our church think that she is their Mimi too. I am pretty sure that this is not dangerous, but I do think it is an addiction.
Last night she went to help a couple with a baby that is only a month or so old. Both of them are sick and they are new parents and they were just worn out. My wife is a very compassionate woman. She will help almost anyone. But when she sees an opportunity to hold and spoil a baby she quickly jumps to feed her habit. I got the call that she was going to their house about an hour before she got off from work and was told that they were desperate and needed her help. I immediately knew that she just needed a baby fix.
Guess what she is doing tonight? Going to visit our son who lives a couple of hours from here so that she can “help” them. And guess what they have at their house? Yep. A baby. She is staying there for the weekend and my suspicion is that she is gonna be so wired up on baby that she won’t be able to drive home and that is why she is staying the weekend. She really does not know how to take babies in moderation. As an ex addict myself, not to babies, I know the signs. You always try to justify what you are doing, but no matter how much you try you always end up over indulging. There have been times when she would come home from “helping a friend” and she would smell like baby or small child.
Don’t misunderstand, she is not dangerous and I am not scared of her when she is using. Rarely has she ever missed work and she has never lost a job because of it. She has never threatened me seriously with violence and for the most part it does not interfere with our marriage. There are times when I will choose to sleep on the couch because she is so strung out on babies and children, but it has not approached the point to where it threatens our relationship. From time to time she will stretch the truth about her habit. The other week she said that she was only going to have one or two kids and it ended up being six kids at once. I can tell you that one kid will take the edge off, but she is not satisfied until she is totally loaded with kids.
She tries to limit getting children from only people that she knows. Family and friends are her biggest suppliers. But she will quickly run to anyone who comes into our church with a child and try to, as she likes to call it, “love on them”. I have seen her trying to talk to strangers about their children but for now, I feel she can restrain herself.
I have to watch her closely. We cannot have children anymore. I thought that doctor had fixed the problem, but occasionally she will mention adopting. I am strong for her and I remind her that she is an addict and does not need children in the house all the time. Sure, I should probably put my foot down and get her some help, but without children, she can be difficult to live with, so I turn a blind eye and just try to help manage her addiction.

December 2, 2011

Child Discipline

by pastortimfowler

She is at it again, my friend who asks me to blog about stuff that usually gets me into trouble. Today it is about child discipline according to the Bible. People tend to freak out when you quote the Bible and it goes against what “the experts” say, but I tend to lean towards what the Creator says to get my beliefs. The Bible is not an outdated writing that needs to be changed to fit our needs, it is God’s instructions for living a life the way that He knows is best for us.
First, yes it is okay to spank. Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not hesitate to discipline a child. If you spank him, he will not die. Spank him yourself, and you will save his soul from hell. The King James actually says to beat him with a rod. This is a reference to the good old hickory switch. So let me put in my two cents worth.
I don’t believe you should whip a child with your hands, those are for hugging and holding as instruments of love. I don’t believe you should whip your child if you can’t control your anger, and certainly never while angry. Just like our legal system has a guide for punishment to fit the crime, parents should establish the same. For example. If you child does not do what you tell them to, the first time he or she is in time out. The second time they get 2 swats with the weapon, I mean the instrument of correction. If a whipping is warranted, you tell the child what he has done wrong, the punishment for what he did and that in 15, 30, 60 minutes, (however long it takes for you to not administer this in anger) the 2 swats with a belt, or switch will be given. Then they go to their room, remind them of the disobedient act and the punishment and administer it. If both parents agree on this and even write it down and post it where all can see, kinda like the 10 Commandments, then punishment is not done on the spur of the moment and will always fit the crime.
There is a difference between spanking and abusing and spanking is not abuse but rather correction. Pain is a powerful teacher and we know that sometimes we all have to learn the hard way. Excessive and abusive physical punishment comes when parents react in anger instead of love. It is defined by whelps (not red marks) or bruising and in worst cases blood. It should always be administered under control and on the meaty part of the buttocks. If you are angry and out of control, you will hit too hard and miss where you need to strike. Again, NEVER whip in anger. Anything with a closed fist, strike to the face or head, or with an instrument that can be damaging even under control should never happen. And, if you are whipping a child too frequently there is a problem and you should seek counsel. If discipline is administered properly, whippings should be few and far in between and should decrease in need as the child gets older.
Second, it was asked, what amount of authority should a parent have over a child and should a child speak against or defy a parent? Colossians 3:20-21 Children, always obey your parents. This is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, don’t make your children resentful, or they will become discouraged. Children should always obey their parents while they are minors. They should be taught responsibility and given liberties that are equal to their ability to reason, but always be in submission to the parent. Disobedience in the smallest of things leads to disobedience in bigger things. Parents should NEVER allow a child to be defiant on purpose. They must learn obedience at home or they will lack it elsewhere and especially with God. Proverbs 3:11-12 Do not reject the discipline of the Lord, my son, and do not resent his warning, because the Lord warns the one he loves, even as a father warns a son with whom he is pleased. Revelation 3:19 I correct and discipline everyone I love. Take this seriously, and change the way you think and act.
Parents must learn to communicate with their children, telling them about right and wrong and the consequences of disobedience. We should find ways to let our children tell us why they did what they did. It may not have been disobedience as much as misunderstanding. Our children should never be scared to defend their actions when they believe that they were acting appropriately. But when they cross the line into defiance, we as parents do them no favors by allowing it to go uncorrected.
Parents teach children who God is by their actions as much as by their words. God thinks it is so important for a child to respect its parents that He made it one of the Ten Commandments. Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live for a long time in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

July 6, 2011

Casey Anthony Trial

by pastortimfowler

I for one, am thankful for the end of the Casey Anthony trial. I am saddened by the fact that a small child was killed, no matter who did it or how it happened. But the reality of it all is that this happens all the time and we don’t get that upset. Many children are killed everyday out of convenience for the mother’s lifestyle and some even fight for that right to kill. Its called abortion. I think a child is a child no matter how young. One thing that I am certain of is that God will let no sin go unpunished and by the same means He can forgive any sin if asked. But this is not a blog on abortion.
You know it wont be long before something else overtakes the world’s news outlets. Since we have a 24 hour news media, they constantly bombard us with “news” that is not really news at all. It is speculation and opinion. America has become addicted to having people tell us what to think and how to think and who to believe or like. We have lost our ability to think for ourselves. I get so disgusted with how gullible people are and how they form opinions that effect their whole life solely based on what the hear and see on TV or the internet.
When I was in elementary school, the science books taught that a new ice age was coming. I think I missed it during my experimental years of drugs and alcohol. We were also told that if the Soviet Union ever bombed us with a nuclear weapon that we should duck and cover. No one in the media ever questioned either of these and as a child I kept thinking about how stupid these two things were. And ice age? It rarely ever snowed then and because I live in beautiful South Carolina, home of the Gamecocks!, (sorry for the shameless plug) it still doesn’t snow. I asked my teacher about it and she told me that it was a limited ice age and only the colder areas of earth would experience it. Duh.
I asked about the nuclear bomb thing and how radiation worked. The teacher told me that we should be more concerned with things falling on our heads than the radiation. I asked her if it was okay to microwave a cat and she said no it would kill it. I would have never really done that, but I did drop a marble on a cat’s head and it had little effect.
So now we know that we are killing the planet with CO2 emissions. We know that electric cars are the answer. I guess there is no CO2 emitted from the power plants that will have to work extra hard to produce more electricity as we all plug-in our cars. I really love the idea that our power grid can even handle the extra use. We already have brown outs and black outs in the summer due to increase usage and now we all need to plug-in cars? Here is a suggestion; why don’t we all use sails on our cars and skip the windmills and batteries?
We are told that one day the financial situation in Greece is so bad that the whole world’s economy will fail so the stock market dives 150 points. The next day, it isn’t that bad and it rises 200 points. We are told that if we would spend a few trillion dollars that the economy of the US won’t get worse, it does get worse, so we are told we need to spend another trillion or so. At the same time families in the US are told to tighten their belts and pinch pennies. We invest in Brazil to drill for oil and stop drilling in our country because it is a global disaster we need to avert. I forgot that Brazil is not part of our globe and I think it sucks having to pay $15 to fill a motorcycle.
We live in the greatest country on earth. We can solve any problem put before that we put our minds to. The problem is that most Americans have stopped thinking for themselves. Even more, we have stopped letting the Bible be our source of truth and let what we believe come from a bunch of media hype.

March 18, 2011

Boy, oh boy

by pastortimfowler

I just found out yesterday that my youngest son and his wife are having a boy. To say that I am excited would be an understatement at the least. This will be my 7th grandkid, for some reason my wife thinks that we already have 7, but I counted and I am right.
One of the reasons I am excited is a reason that use to not affect me, and some may not have ever thought about. You see my dad was an only son and my grandfather was an only son and that could have been the end of our line for Fowlers. So with the news of “it’s a boy” from my son, the bloodline continues a little longer. With my brother having 2 sons, me having 2 sons, and now my sons will each have a son, there will be another generation to carry on.
Because I know that she hangs on my every word, my daughter also has a son, but he is not a Fowler and he is a red-head, but she is still my favorite daughter.
I believe that we should love everyone and respect people for who they are regardless of age race or sex, to the best of our ability. But there has always been a priority on having a male child. That is what I now understand more than ever. The family name continues.
In case my granddaughters read this or their mothers read it to them, because you gotta admit that this is good stuff, I should talk to them.
You guys are special and I love you, but you are just girls and you probably have cooties and I know you have girl germs and you will change your name when you get married. But, I love you anyway.
I have tried to think about my nickname for the boy in the family but nothing comes to mind. I have only given a nickname to one of our 2 grandsons so far so I guess it’s not that important. I called my first 2 granddaughters Elmer and Fudd but that did not stick. So maybe I am not that concerned with nicknames.
Family names at one time were much more important than they are today. They use to define your trade, your history, even your standing with God. My sir name use to tell people who my family raised and sold birds or even falconry. Today it is just mispronounce and only means that we are USC Gamecock fans.
Boy oh boy, this was a rambling blog, but…It a boy!!!