Posts tagged ‘addiction’

March 2, 2012

Child Addiction

by pastortimfowler

My wife is addicted to little children. Our own children are grown and cannot or will not produce babes fast enough for her. So she has a plan to have every baby and little kid at our church think that she is their Mimi too. I am pretty sure that this is not dangerous, but I do think it is an addiction.
Last night she went to help a couple with a baby that is only a month or so old. Both of them are sick and they are new parents and they were just worn out. My wife is a very compassionate woman. She will help almost anyone. But when she sees an opportunity to hold and spoil a baby she quickly jumps to feed her habit. I got the call that she was going to their house about an hour before she got off from work and was told that they were desperate and needed her help. I immediately knew that she just needed a baby fix.
Guess what she is doing tonight? Going to visit our son who lives a couple of hours from here so that she can “help” them. And guess what they have at their house? Yep. A baby. She is staying there for the weekend and my suspicion is that she is gonna be so wired up on baby that she won’t be able to drive home and that is why she is staying the weekend. She really does not know how to take babies in moderation. As an ex addict myself, not to babies, I know the signs. You always try to justify what you are doing, but no matter how much you try you always end up over indulging. There have been times when she would come home from “helping a friend” and she would smell like baby or small child.
Don’t misunderstand, she is not dangerous and I am not scared of her when she is using. Rarely has she ever missed work and she has never lost a job because of it. She has never threatened me seriously with violence and for the most part it does not interfere with our marriage. There are times when I will choose to sleep on the couch because she is so strung out on babies and children, but it has not approached the point to where it threatens our relationship. From time to time she will stretch the truth about her habit. The other week she said that she was only going to have one or two kids and it ended up being six kids at once. I can tell you that one kid will take the edge off, but she is not satisfied until she is totally loaded with kids.
She tries to limit getting children from only people that she knows. Family and friends are her biggest suppliers. But she will quickly run to anyone who comes into our church with a child and try to, as she likes to call it, “love on them”. I have seen her trying to talk to strangers about their children but for now, I feel she can restrain herself.
I have to watch her closely. We cannot have children anymore. I thought that doctor had fixed the problem, but occasionally she will mention adopting. I am strong for her and I remind her that she is an addict and does not need children in the house all the time. Sure, I should probably put my foot down and get her some help, but without children, she can be difficult to live with, so I turn a blind eye and just try to help manage her addiction.

Advertisements
February 15, 2012

Who’s To Blame?

by pastortimfowler

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cayusa/2306924250/

A famous musician dies. Everyone knows her and knows her troubled past. She made bad decision after bad decision and fell prey to those in the industry who prey on her type. The music world is saddened. The news media is excited. They have something that the whole world will listen to them talk about in hopes of finding the truth. Weeks go by and by the time the truth is learned, our lives are filled with the next tragedy that is bound to happen. At the height of it all, the question that never seems to get answered is, who’s to blame?
Sure there are doctors, like with Michael Jackson, who get convicted of crimes. Sure there are family members who are rejected from funerals. Sure there are those on the inside that should have seen it coming and did nothing about it. But still, who is to blame?
I feel comfortable writing about this because I know what it is like to struggle with drug and alcohol addictions. Although I was not a famous musician or a movie star, the drugs and alcohol did not seem to care. I had plenty of people who played a part in my addictions. My dad was an alcoholic. My brother and sister both did drugs and drank. I listened to rock and roll music which glorified drugs and drinking. I had a dealer who knew that I was an addict and had sober friends and family that knew it too. If only someone was to blame. Then I would have stopped…NOT.
The bottom line of the blame game is you, or in this case her, or in my case me. I chose to make bad decisions that led to more bad decision and I chose to not listen to good advice and the cries of those who knew I was heading in a very dangerous direction. Short of locking me in a room and monitoring my activity 24 hours a day, there was nothing anyone could do to stop me from my self-destructive ways. Even the loving cry of a wife and children were not enough to stop me from opening a bottle or a bag. No one ever poured a drink down my throat or forced a pill or joint or line into my bloodstream. It was all me and short of me changing my decision-making process, nothing was going to stop me.
Who’s to blame is ourselves. We are in control of what sin we chose to make prevalent in our lives. We all sin. We are all powerless to fully overcome sin and God knows this. He is waiting on us to realize it. Once we do, we can then make the choice to call out to Him for help. He and He alone can totally free you from sin. We must be able to replace an addiction with a suitable fix or else the addiction will manifest itself somewhere else. The Bible tell us not to be drunk with wine but to be filled with the Spirit of God. That is the suitable fix for any addiction and any sin.
It starts with our admitting our sin. Next we ask for forgiveness and by faith accept the new life God wants to give us. He then condemns the sin but saves the sinner and gives us the power to overcome anything this life can throw at us. We can always chose to fall back, but God will never chose to disown you. Your soul is safe, your flesh is weak, but God is the answer and we are who’s to blame.