Archive for ‘Marriage’

November 13, 2012

Extra Marital Affairs

by pastortimfowler

VANESSA & MICKEY-1068b

It has been all over the news lately about the CIA director resigning because of an extra marital affair. It was said that there were tens of thousands of emails that were sent between him and the woman. This has me worried. Does the director of the CIA not know that emails are not a secure form of communication? That aside, it breaks my heart to hear about this.
A good friend of mine and at the time a mentor, had an affair and it cost him his marriage and church. It really blew me away when I found out about it because he was my pastor. The only reason I am tell you this is because this stuff can happen to anyone if you are not careful. Sexual temptations are the toughest, especially for men, and it seems to be almost as difficult for women. I say that because everyone I know who had an affair did it with someone of the opposite sex. The marriage relationship is precious and delicate. What seems to happen is that it gets to the point of being mundane and callused and this is dangerous.
In a world where people get their feelings hurt for the stupidest of reasons, we have a tendency to take our marriages for granted. Marriage is a continual and demanding work. And, since the wedding vows say that marriage is until death, the work should never stop. Sadly we have made marriage very disposable and are not willing to work as diligently to keep our marriage together as we are to get to the point of getting married.
Most extra marital affairs begin with seemingly harmless conversation. Rarely is there a sexual encounter that starts things off. This usually happens because the conversation at home has become less than engaging. We come home after a full day at work and the conversation consists of; “How was your day?” “Fine”. How was yours?” “Fine”. Meanwhile the person at work that is potentially getting a promotion, laid off, or is working on a project with you, is talking in great detail all day. So rekindle the conversation. Flirt with your spouse. Don’t allow ‘fine’ to be the whole answer. Knowing the stress of your spouse or the joy of the spouse allows for you to keep that emotional bond in tact. It is those emotional bonds that become strained and eventually broke that leads to an affair.
Find a couple that has a strong marriage that has been married a few years longer than you. We all need a mentor and a marriage mentor can help when things are getting tough. Developing a relationship with someone who has a long and successful marriage is a great way have some support and encouragement when things are tough and everyone else is telling you to quit. We have people in our lives that help us at work, at play, and financially, so why not a marriage coach? All those others things seem to fall apart when the marriage does.
Most importantly, make your marriage line up with the biblical guidelines for marriage. Before you start thinking negatively, maybe you should read it. The old complaint of wives obeying husbands is not what you probably think it is. God instituted marriage before He even started the church. It is His precious gift to man. There are promises of health, wisdom, long life to those who have a biblical marriage.
No, this does not make for a flawless marriage, but it makes for a forgiving marriage. And it makes for a marriage that both agree to certain ground rules that are not flexible. We do very few things in life that have such lackadaisical guidelines and yet is so important to everything else we do. But a biblical marriage can be a strong and long-lasting marriage and when followed with integrity can be affair proof.
If your marriage is struggling, get help. If it is not, help others. No, the national security may not be on the line, but your sanity certainly may be. And when your marriage is strong and happy, so many other things tend to line up as well.

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July 13, 2012

Still Married And Wanting More

by pastortimfowler

Next week my wife and I celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary. That means I may not be blogging next week because we always take the week off and go somewhere. It is really strange saying that I have been married for 32 years. Most people my age have been married several times and few have that many years with the same person. I still remember when I thought that 30 was old. Now I have been married longer than that. I use to say that my wife married me when I was 12, but that still makes me older than I feel like I want to be.
I have been very blessed. I wish that everyone could experience the type of marriage that I have. I can honestly say that I love my wife more today than when we got married. We are still passionate and fun and learning each other. We love being together and trust each other when we are apart. We laugh, cry, and pray together and have no fears of dying with any regrets of what we could have done together. Our marriage is that special.
Now I don’t want you to think that we don’t have tough times. I tell everyone that my wife is the best of everything for me, including my best fight. No one can make me as angry as she can. But that is because we are passionate. But when we fight, we fight to make us stronger, and when that goes wrong, we forgive to make us humble. In our 32 years we have been on the brink of divorce twice. We have been in marriage counseling and we have been separated. We have been tempted to call it quits, but by the grace of God have never followed through with it. We have suffered through alcohol and drug abuse and self centeredness. We have had plenty of money and great careers and we have both been unemployed and dirt poor. All of these things have worked together to make us stronger.
We use our experiences to help others every chance that we get. We can look young couples in the eyes and tell them that we understand where they are and what they are going through. It brings us great joy to see a couple about to call it quits, turn things around and become stronger than ever.
As a husband, I can honestly say I am the best husband my wife has ever had. She knows this and will be the first to tell you that she has never married anyone that is as good as me. Of course, since I am the only husband she has ever had, I rank number one without any competition. That doesn’t change the fact that I am the best husband she has ever had though.
My wife is incredible. She is extremely smart and has the most incredible patience. She has worked her way to the top in corporate America, ran her own business, and helped to build our church. She has people skills that make her the type of friend that people dream of. As a mom, she is compassionate and nurturing and as a grandmother, or Mimi, she is the one responsible for spoiling the kids beyond repair. Add to all of this, she is unbelievably beautiful and sexy. Yes, I am truly blessed.
So next week, we are heading out to spend a week away from work and church and family and friends. We are going to ride the motorcycle, dine out, watch movies and read books. We are going to forget about the stresses of life and enjoy being together and reflect on how awesome it is to be married to each other. This will mean, no blogs, no Facebook, and no phones.
When we walked down that aisle and said our vows 32 years ago, no one thought that we would make it. Our dads even made bets about how quickly it would end. They said that we would never make it because we were too young and I was too messed up. They were correct about me, but God does work miracles. I was so happy to get married that day. It was the best thing that I could have ever done. I am happily and joyfully married and can’t wait to see what is coming in year 33 together and beyond.
Happy Anniversary to my bride and girl of my wildest dreams. Thanks for loving me and letting me love you.
I am still married and wanting more!

May 8, 2012

Marriage Debate

by pastortimfowler

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lel4nd/6168801346/

I don’t usually blog about stuff that is controversial or things that people can possibly disagree with me on, but today I am going to. In my neighbor state of North Carolina they are voting on an amendment to the state constitution that will make marriage between a man and a woman the only legal and recognized form of marriage. It has been very interesting to listen to the talk about this issue. Some people get all freaked out about it and the arguments are often to the point of being ridiculous and even funny. My favorite is the one that says, God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. How silly is that? We all know that Steve was not created until after Jesus walked on water.
I figure that sometime between now and the end of the week I will get asked what my opinion is about this, so I am jumping ahead of the game and putting out my blog before I am even asked.
My opinion is just that, an opinion. I am not the final authority, although I should be. Things would just be so much easier if everyone agreed with me. My opinion is not really an opinion but rather a question. What has been the definition of marriage for as long as there have been marriages? Merrian-Webster Dictionary has given this definition for as long as it has been in print: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. There is a 2nd definition that includes same-sex marriage, but it was added within the last 30 years or so. There was a time when no one would ever think of marriage any other way. For thousands of years that is what marriage was. If two people lived together, as lovers, that did not mean they were married. In some states there was a provision under the law called common law marriage, so that people who shared an estate for many years had certain rights, but it was not an official marriage to those people. Why do we need to change the definition? Perhaps there should be another descriptive word for same-sex couples who legally or ceremonially join as a couple.
If we change the definition of marriage because someone doesn’t like what it means, where do you draw the line? The definition of a word that is as old as marriage should not offend people. It was never meant to. I don’t like the word bald meaning no hair, so I think I want it to mean I have hair. Change the definition and I am still bald.
The real argument is not about a definition, but about civil rights afforded to two people who live together. Why not just change that law instead of the definition of the institution of marriage? I could care less if that happens. But we all know that it goes deeper than that. Marriage is something that most people relate to a religious argument. The only religion that I have personal knowledge of and its teaching about marriage is Christianity and from what I understand, it too describes marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Many of the laws in most civilized countries have a religious foundation, including murder and stealing. But many laws have no religious bearing what so ever. Traffic laws for instance have nothing to do with a religious teaching at all. They are made by man for man (and women).
My point is this. If people of the same-sex want to be legally equal in the benefits and rights given to a couple of opposite sex, then make a law to give those rights. Don’t change the meaning of marriage. It has meant one thing for far longer than this modern argument has been going on. Our country has a system in place to help those who are overlooked, by-passed, or even purposefully mistreated. Legislators can amend constitutions and correct injustice, but it doesn’t have to be done by changing a definition. We did not change the definition of slavery to free those who were wronged, we changed the law. A slave is still someone who is owned and controlled by another human.
So that is my blog on the controversial subject being voted on in my neighboring state. Remember that I said that it would be better if everyone agreed with me. Don’t make things difficult, just agree. And by agree, I mean, think like me, act like me, be like me. Later I may try to come up with a word that we can use for same-sex unions that I like. Until then, I will only use marriage to describe a man and a woman, legally able to file taxes as married people. Don’t be hatin’; its my blog.

December 5, 2011

Born Gay?

by pastortimfowler

Every time I open my messages on Facebook and see one from “my friend” I cringe. Here is her latest subject. What about homosexual relationships? What does the Bible say about them? Are people born that way or do they choose? What do you think about gay marriage and gays raising children? Thanks my dear friend. No one will be able to get upset about this one.
Some of you are probably wondering why I even accepted the challenge to blog about this. I could have just ignored the question or answered it privately. But I chose to blog about it because there is no reason for Christians to not be able to express how they feel or be able to say what God says about anything. So tighten your seat belts and let’s do this.
My first task I think, is to answer the marriage thing. Merriam-Webster’s defines it as this: a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. Now if you continue to look there are other definitions that have been added through the years to include same-sex marriage, but this definition has been the one that has been accepted for hundreds of years. It also meets the biblical definition of marriage and as far as what is legally acceptable as marriage, this fits too.
So I do not believe that gay marriage is right. For as long as humans have been around, marriage has been defined as a man and a woman. Why all of a sudden do we have to change the meaning just because a certain group of people wants to? It would be like deciding to call 2+2=5 because someone decides that they wanted it that way. Call a gay couple something else, but not a marriage. There is no place in the Bible that tells two members of the same-sex to live together as a couple in holy matrimony. The Bible is not old-fashioned because God has decided what marriage is to be and He has not changed His mind. So, gays living as a married couple is not biblical. And by the way, neither is a man and a woman who are not married, and that will be addressed later.
As far as gays raising children, I don’t believe that it is the best situation.  It would be best for the birth mother and father to raise the child. But I do know that children need love and that anyone can love a child. Some good friends of mine, who are gay, are raising children, and in both cases, these children are well-behaved, loved, and certainly much better off than if they were in an orphanage somewhere or with a couple who did not love them. No biblical problems here.
Now to the big issue, are people born this way? I can’t give a definitive yes or no, but, let me explain. All humans are born in sin. No one has to teach a child to lie and lying is a sin. Sin is the driving force in the human flesh. It is selfish, pleasure centered, and totally against God. Without the power of the Holy Spirit, humans are unable to defeat sin at any level. We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. Because we are all born with a sin nature, that sin will manifest itself in our lives somehow, someway, somewhere.
The Bible is very clear that sex outside of marriage is a sin. That includes adulterous sex, pre-marital sex, promiscuous sex, homosexual sex, sex with animals and any other sex you can name. Sex is not love. Sex is God’s way of humans reproducing and for married couples to express intimacy. Keep in mind that I am writing from the premise that God is the one who made and defines marriage and the limits of sexual morality, not man. He is the one who is holy and He is the judge of mankind. What we humans think is right has nothing to do with what God says. Our feelings are not the moral judge, God is.
I condemn those who treat gays with hate and malice. Jesus loves them. He died for the sins of humanity, not for the pretty church people. The sin of one person is no greater in the eyes of God than the sin of another. The blood of Jesus was shed so that sinners like me could be forgiven, learn of the love of God and grow in love and understanding of who He is. Because of this, Christians are to love others in the same way and not put a sin above another.
Putting the sex issue aside, heterosexual or homosexual, if sex of any kind were taken out of the picture as the sin issue, we are all still sinners of some sort. Born that way, but not bound to stay that way. I am now a sinner, saved by grace, who has a Father in heaven that loves me. Not because of what I did, but because of what God did when Jesus died on the cross for my sins and your.

September 9, 2011

That Woman God Gave Me

by pastortimfowler

Yesterday I had the privilege of spending the whole day at Newspring Church in Anderson SC for their annual leadership conference. Although I had been there before for worship and a different training event, I could not believe what happened there this time. Pastor Perry Noble and his church are incredible tools that God is using to change the world. I know that sounds like a huge statement but I don’t think that I am exaggerating. They are really doing things that reach worldwide and doing it in a practical way.
This particular conference was to motivate leaders to follow the model of leadership set forth in the Bible and perfected by Jesus Christ.
I have been to many events in many churches before and usually walk away with really useful stuff. Occasionally I am moved to an emotional response that resembles an allergy attack in which my eyes start watering, but that is rare.
Yesterday was different. There were seven different pastors that spoke in front of the 3000 plus leaders who were gathered there and I felt so bad for all of those guys because the seven speakers were talking only to me. How they picked me out of the crowd I don’t know, but I was made to feel very special. I was hoping that this was a fluke after the first guy finished and then after the second guy did it too I got nervous, but when it continued all day I was on overload.
As a pastor, I feel confident that I hear from God daily as I try to lead and serve my church. I read and study my Bible daily, listen to other pastors who teach on the radio when I can, and I try my best to stay spiritually fed. But at this event I felt as if I was at an all you can eat dinner and I couldn’t get enough. Even when I knew I was full, I felt like God packed it down and stuffed in some more. I am not talking burgers and ‘dogs, but the finest spiritual cuisine one could eat.
One of the speakers spent 45 minutes talking about gratitude. When he said that this was his topic I wanted to zone out because I feel like I am a fairly grateful guy. But as he began to preach I realized over and over that I was falling short. The Bible tells us that we are to be thankful in everything. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am real good about gratitude for the good, and have even said thanks for some of the trials, but I often blame myself for things that go wrong. This guy said that we need to be careful blaming ourselves for those thing that go wrong or we may be quick to take credit when things go right. God gives us trials to make us stronger, not for us to play the blame game.
The one area that I was most convicted was my gratitude for my wife. I take her for granted more than I ever should. I am supposed to be Christ to her and so many times I am more like the devil, and not in the fun way that we like to think. Not only does she support me in everything we do, and she is a great cook, a great mom, a great worker, a great friend, but she is also great in the things that she does that I don’t like. Sounds weird, but I am not grateful for those things like I should be. They are just as much part of the person I love as the other things, yet I am quick to complain. Oops, sorry honey. I love you for who you are, all of you.
This pastor made a statement that scared me in a Godly way. He said if you are not grateful for the things that God has given you because you think that they have flaws, God can always take it back. God does not make mistakes and we need to understand this. I made a promise to take her for better, worse, rich, poor, sick, and health. I have overwhelmingly had the best side of it all. The few things that I find irritating, I really want to be grateful for because if I don’t have those small parts, I don’t have her.
So, I am praying to be really grateful for her, not what she does. I want to thank God every moment of the day for my wife who is better than I ever deserved and quit acting like I am entitled to anything at all. What I deserve is nothing close to what He has given me. I have more to be grateful for than I can count and my wife makes up the biggest part of all those things.
Thank you God for every part of who my wife is. She is perfect for me, and I am for ever grateful.

August 5, 2011

Marriage Is GREAT!!!

by pastortimfowler

I really want to say something about married life. I have attempted to write this several times now but keep getting to the point of being way to wordy. It is hard to talk about something that you believe in so much and keep it short and sweet. Too many marriages are definitely short, but sure not sweet. It breaks my heart to see young couples throw away their marriages because they are too proud to get help before it is too late. But maybe one of the reasons they throw away their marriage is because they don’t have the hope that comes from hearing about marriages that are successful. So I will take a few minutes to tell about a hugely successful marriage; mine.


We have been married for 31 years now. I can not imagine not being married. We have been through a lot, but always end up stronger for the trials that we went through.
I continually tell people who my wife and I are the best of everything for each other and I mean it. Listed below are few examples.
I have the best conversations with my wife. There is no one I would rather talk to about our problems or anything else. We solve problems together. Not always quickly, but always together. We have learned that the way things are said often make the meaning of what you say different. For instance, if I say I need to buy a blue shirt, that means at the closest store that sells shirts, I will be in and out with a blue shirt within 5 minutes. When she says she needs a blue shirt, it means a full day of shopping and she might come home with a blue shirt. We understand these subtle differences because we love to talk a lot and there is no one we love talking to more than each other.
I have the best fun with my wife. Don’t jump to the conclusion that everything we do for fun we do it together. I believe couples need time apart for the different types of fun that they enjoy, but I never have more fun than when I am having fun with my wife. We plan our anniversary each year around a week-long motorcycle trip. Sometimes we don’t plan the ride, only the destination. We love seeing new places together and laughing at the stupid things we end up doing together. We camp together, and even if there are grandkids with us, we have fun together. She even fishes with me occasionally and I go to bookstores with her from time to time. But the bottom line is we have more fun with each other than with anyone else.
I have the best fights with my wife. That sounds like a negative, but think of it this way. That usually means you are passionate and who better to be passionate with? It also means that we know more about each other than anyone else does. No one can push those buttons better than we can because we know what buttons to push. Fighting is normal in a marriage and even intense fighting. I am not talking physical fights. I don’t fight with anyone that way. I will kick your butt if you mess with my wife, but that won’t be much of a fight…just saying. One thing we always do is make up after a fight. And we make up better than with anyone else.
Close your eyes if you are easily embarrassed now. We have the best sex life together too. Sex is a wonderful gift that God allows married couples to have. He even tells us that we get to own each others bodies. Sadly, this is one area that couples fall apart at over the years. They get too busy, too tired, and to distracted to keep this area fresh and exciting. Media makes sex into something perverted and purely physical. But God says it is much more than that. He tells us that it is a key instrument to a successful prayer life…1 Corinthians 7:5 Don’t withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so for a set time to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should get back together so that Satan doesn’t use your lack of self-control to tempt you. Outside sources of sexual stimulation, (movies, tv, pictures, etc.) should not be allowed in you sex life. God tells men to rejoice in the wife’s body, not fantasize the she is someone else. Sex is not the only factor in a successful marriage but is an important one. There is nothing wrong with letting other married couples know this, within reason, because too often it is lied about to make people think that after marriage, sex ends or becomes boring. In fact, marriage should be the only time for sex and it should be the best with your spouse.
I guess the most important thing that we are the best at together is our spiritual lives. We serve together and worship together and pray together. Our church knows we do this together and we promote other couples to become involved together in growing spiritually. Every individual is created by God to know Him and learn of His love. When two people get married, we become a living example of Christ’s love for the church for the whole world to see. That is what the bible says in Ephesians chapter 5.
There is nothing better than a great relationship with God and there is nothing better than your marriage to show that to others.
Marriage is great, not easy, but if your spouse is the best of everything to you, yes, marriage is great!!!

July 15, 2011

Back Out Bowing

by pastortimfowler

This will be my last blog for a while, until Monday July 25 2011. I will be leaving this Sunday after church for vacation and although I will be taking my laptop, I am not even sure if there is wi-fi where we are staying. If there is I may sneak in a short blog just to rub it in that I am on vacation.
I suppose that you are wondering where the rich and famous go on vacation? I don’t know. I am not rich and famous. We are going to a state park on a lake in beautiful South Carolina. We are borrowing our favorite daughter’s RV that we sold her because she kept borrowing it from us. From there we will get in a few day trips on the motorcycle, but we will mainly relax and do as little as possible, outside of reading and fishing.
On the 19th of this month, my wife and I will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. It is also her birthday: it is not her 29th again: it is not any in the 30s or 40s but she is not in her 60s. She is not 51-59 and definitely not 70-100. We actually celebrated her birthday last month in order to get family and friends together for a surprise party, so this will be mainly our anniversary trip. Of course, since I married her on her birthday, she gets me every year and I am the gift that keeps giving, so what more could she ask for.
Every year we try to get away for a week. We both live very busy lives and rarely take much time off. Most years we take a week-long motorcycle trip. We have been to Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina, all over South Carolina, and even rode to Niagara Falls one year. This year we will just use the state park as our base. This allows us to ride all day without carrying a weeks worth of clothes everywhere.
I have been extremely blessed to have been married to the same woman for 31 years. Since I was only 12 when we got married, I had to grow up fast. I had to quickly learn how to handle an older woman and start making her into the woman I wanted her to be. We have had our share of hard times. There was this one time when she rebelled against me as I was training her to bow as she backed out of the room. Wow, I didn’t think we would ever get through that one. But most of our time together has been filled with good times. We have raised 3 children together, several cats, some dogs, a parrot, and a snake. The animals all turned out great except for that mentally ill cat. The children, well lets just say we tried. Now as grandparents we are livin’ la vida loca. We can spoil kids and send them home with noisy toys that drive their parents crazy.
So for the next week, try to think happy thoughts and not drink too much as you suffer through a week that may not contain my blogs. I’ll be back. I am just going to take a few days to celebrate, relax, and reflect. But if you get lucky and there is wi-fi, I just might do a vacation blog just because I can.
To my beautiful wife JoAnne, I love you, happy birthday, happy anniversary, and well done on learning to back out of the room while bowing.

June 30, 2011

What More Can They Want?

by pastortimfowler

Five years ago today I did a wedding for a couple of young people who were weird and wacky. They had dreams of making it big in the music industry and living happily ever after. They went to school, moved around, and chased a dream. Dreams come true.
My youngest son and his wife celebrate 5 years of marriage today. I know that this does not qualify as happily ever after but it sure is a start. Few couples that I know have been willing to make the sacrifices and work as hard to make their dreams come true as these two. Paying their own way through school, taking jobs that seemed quite a stretch to achieve their goals and never giving up on seeking what they were looking for.
Today they serve in the music ministry in one of the largest and most dynamic churches in South Carolina, maybe even the USA. The music industry can be a brutal place to make a living and certainly to live out a Christian life. Staying true to your roots and to yourself and to each other can be extremely difficult, but so far so good. I have watched them take risks that many warned against taking and watch the rewards of those risks pay off now. As a pastor and a dad I can’t be more proud of where they serve and how they serve and what they have done so far.
Not only do they celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary, but this year they will also celebrate the birth of their first child, a boy. Although this will be our 7th grandchild, it is not less thrilling! Anytime that God blesses one of your children with a child it is incredible. Children are a blessing from God and grandchildren are the crown of the grandparents! We can’t wait to hold him in our arms and tell him of our love for him and our pride for his parents and our thankfulness to God for him.
It would be nice to be able to send them away for week as they celebrate their anniversary or to lavish them with other expensive gifts, but unfortunately that can’t happen right now. We feel as though we are the ones who have gotten the gifts with the way they live their lives and have blessed us with a grandson. But what I can do and will never stop doing is praying for their marriage, their children, and their ministry. I will always have great pride in them being my family and great humility in knowing that they are all a gift from God. And now, I have included them in a 2nd blog…what more can they want?

June 20, 2011

Free Marriage Counseling

by pastortimfowler

Genesis 2:24
That is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Before the church was started, before sacrifices were started, and before the Bible was ever written, God created the institute of marriage. It was His idea to unite a man and a woman for the sake of being one unit working together for the better of each other and to grow a family. He did not create marriage to be 2 men, 2 women, a man and a bunch of women, a woman and a bunch of men, or any other combination that may or may not include animals.
He created marriage and told us that this would be the reason that a man would leave his father and mother. Yes, it is time to move out when you get married. There is not a healthy situation in which you and your wife should stay in your parents house. If they have lots of land and another house can be put on this land, then that may be suitable, but always remember that it says that he should leave his father and mother.
It tells us that the two, husband and wife, should be united. This means that they begin new life as one. They no longer have his stuff and her stuff and my stuff and your stuff, they now have their stuff. Bank accounts, bills, dreams, and disasters are now all shared, along with the responsibilities that come along with being adults. The more stuff you don’t share the more likely that the unity is challenged and the marriage will break down.
Next we are told that the two shall become one flesh. Many believe that this means that they will have a sexual relation and I agree, but, not just for the sake of having sex. The purpose of sex in this account to be one flesh has the meaning of reproducing. (Genesis 1:28~ God blessed them and said, “Be fertile, increase in number, fill the earth,…” ) That is why the idea that marriage is anything but a man and a woman is ridiculous. Only a man and a woman can make babies naturally. When the sperm and the egg join together, the two unite and become one flesh, thus fulfilling the command given to the couple.
Marriage can be a challenge that is greater than most anything we will do with another human. It is a life time venture that truly does take in the better or the worse, richer and poorer, and sickness and health. But like anything else in this world, if is valuable, it is worth working hard for. The most gratifying things in the world are the things that you work the hardest for. Marriage is no different.
There is such great wisdom in the Bible and we live in a time when we all need to seek wisdom, especially in our marriages. God is the creator and founder of marriage. He knows how they work successfully and how to heal them that are broken. We will take our dogs to the vet, cars to the mechanic, and computers to the geek, but we won’t take our marriages to a counselor. That is a matter of pride and that is selfish and that violates the command to be united.
As a veteran of 31 years of marriage, I am fully qualified to speak on all areas of pride, selfishness, and all things counter-productive to a healthy, God-based marriage. BUT…I am also the recipient tons of grace and mercy and patience that has allowed me to soak up a bit of wisdom. I have swallowed my pride and sought counseling and have been blessed with the healing from God of one of His most precious gifts, marriage.
My marriage is not perfect, but it is better than most. It is not broken, but has a few scars. It is strong though and a great example of how letting God have His way can allow the joy that He intended for a couple to be experienced on a regular basis. God used a wise man to counsel us and it helped save our marriage and strengthen it to the point that we can now help others. As part of my ministry, I have been blessed to be able to counsel others and will continue to do so, free of charge. Too often I hear that couples can’t afford counseling and therefore don’t seek it. Although I can’t promise to heal your marriage, that is up to you, I can promise to help and never let money stand in the way. I wish that every couple could experience the type marriage that I have and because of that, I will always offer free marriage counseling.
(You can reach me through http://www.thebodylive.com or respond through the comments section of this blog.)