New Fan

by pastortimfowler

This past Saturday I took my 6-year-old grandson to his first USC Gamecock football game in Columbia SC. He already likes the Gamecocks but knows very little, if anything, about football. Because this was a game that they were supposed to easily win, and they did, I figured that it would be a safe bet to go to this one in case he lost interest and we had to leave. He didn’t, and we stayed the whole game and had a blast.
In a stadium with 80,000 screaming fans it is not the place to try to teach a 6-year-old about football. I tried. It is a great place to teach a 6-year-old how many different ways that you can mold cotton candy before you eat it. I also discovered that stadium cotton candy, by weight, is more valuable than gold. One bag that weight of almost nothing was $5.00. We had two bags and a bucket of popcorn the size of a new Prius and pizza that was older than most Priusessesseessss.
I am not rich, but I need to be if I am going to keep taking grandkids to the Gamecock football games. Between tickets and food and parking, my wife and I now live in her mini-van. Thank goodness it is bigger than a Prius.
Most everywhere we take our 6-year-old grandson he has to use the bathroom, and this was no different. As we entered the stadium there were rows of port-a-potties set up for the fans who were waiting to come in. He wanted to use them. I said no, we will go once we are inside. I am not prejudice against port-a-potties, I just want better for my grandson. Some of my best friends use port-a-potties. So once inside and after we ate the pizza left over from the first ever game held in Williams-Brice Stadium, we went to the bathroom. It started off with the normal walk toward that urinal and then panic set in on my grandson’s face. This was the first time he had ever seen the public pee trough. Sorry ladies, but that is what us guys get in many stadiums; a metal trough with water running and drains along the bottom.
Most little boys are not to worried about where they pee. In fact, most are perfectly fine with a tree or a bush. Give them your typical toilet bowl and they will pee on the floor half of the time. Give them a chance to basically pee on the floor on purpose and it really freaks them out. But we made it through the experience and he learned the what every man learns: the brick wall stare.
Did you know that most colleges have male cheerleaders? He didn’t. Did you know that those male cheerleaders spend a lot of time touching girls butts and looking up their dresses? He didn’t. Did you know that there is no good way for a 6-year-old to really understand that it is okay but he shouldn’t do it?
Did you know that the chicken can dance? Did you know that the chicken doesn’t touch girls butts and look up their dresses? I do now.
Did you know that if you try to explain everything that a 6-year-old boy notices in a stadium filled with 80,000 people who you will not see every play, especially the really good ones? Did you know that it is hard to explain why everyone gets excited when your team gets a first down when all the time the cheerleaders are asking us, “whadaya want? TD, What’s that? touchdown”?
Did you know that the poor fellow who was sitting beside us was really a patient guy because my 6-year-old grandson can talk to a tree if he had to?
Did you know that the cotton candy guy in the section below you could throw the cotton candy to us? Well he can’t but 6 year olds know more than I do and waiting for one of those guys to come to our section is not worth the wait when I could miss some of the game to go to the concession stand and get some.
Sorry for all the questions, I just wanted to share the joy.
We did make it through the game and we won and he told me that it was awesome to get to come to the game with me and that makes it all worth while. Hopefully, the Gamecocks truly have a new fan now. I know the cotton candy guy does.

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