cheese on that thing with a hole

by pastortimfowler

I “woke up” this morning after successfully winning the couch back from the dogs. I lost the battle for either of the beds to the red-head twins, Twitch, and my favorite wife. We were spared the worst of the storms that passed by last night and into the wee hours of the morning, but the heavier rains made it hard for my Direct TV to pick up a signal and I ended up watching something recorded that I had seen at least 10 times. Around 2am my stomach started telling me it was lonely and wanted me to send it one of its best friends, ice cream, but I refused. I will make up to my stomach today with a peach shake from one of my favorite fast food places.
My wife, who is my favorite wife, volunteered to keep every grandkid this side of the Mississippi for the weekend, and Twitch if the oldest at 6 years old and needed to go to school this morning. Because I am such a nice guy and my wife was busy with the other herd of grandkids, I took Twitch to school.
Twitch got ready for school, or should I say he got dressed. I don’t think playing with his cousin and the dog had anything to do with not eating breakfast before we had to leave. So being the coolest Papa on the planet, I suggested that we drive through the McBreakfast place on the way. Mimi told me exactly what to do when I got there. I am so glad that she gives me such instructions. I would be lost trying to figure out where to go and what to do without her. I never get lost when she is around because she constantly tells me where to go.
Before I pull up to the menu board and order I asked Twitch what he wanted to be sure that it matched what I was told before leaving the house. I was told to get hash browns and that was all he would eat. Twitch, who is never contradictory to anything normal, told me that he wanted a crescent with cheese. I told him that McBreakfast did not serve crescents and suggested hash browns. He said no, let me think about it.
The drive through at McBreakfast is a very busy place. I was 5th in line number 2 when this started. Now I am 2nd in line number 2 and Twitch wants to think about it. I am pretty sure that his mother, father, other grandparents, any number of aunts and uncles have taken him to this place before for breakfast. I am certain that I have been here with him before and he always knows what he wants. So I ask again. Now he wants a cheeseburger and I have to explain that they don’t sell cheeseburgers for McBreakfast.
So I pull up to the speaker and told him to make up his mind while I ordered my McBreakfast. FYI, I ate breakfast before I left the house because I had been up all night and was hungry at 2am, but waited until 6am to eat. But I needed to kill time while he thought about what he wanted and this is the only way I could think of on the spur of the moment.
So I ordered and asked again, “what do you want?”. He said, “cheese on that thing with a hole in it”. I am not stupid, but I am not sure that I get it. Why does this kid who eats the same thing every time I am with him now want something different and can’t even name it? I also know that God loves me and knows when I am operating on limited rest and nerves, but I think sometimes God just wants a good laugh and He uses me for this purpose.
I look in my rear view mirror and there are cars lined up in both lanes as far as the eye can see. So I asked, “What?” He said, cheese on a thing with a hole in it. As I was about to order the hash browns like Mimi told me to order for him, the lady in the McSpeaker asks me, “Does he want a cheese bagel?” I look at Twitch and he is shaking his head yes. I look in the mirror and my head is just shaking, but I told her yes. She asked if that will complete my order and I thanked her and pulled around to get our food.
On the way to school, we ate our McBreakfast and he told me that he did not want his hash browns because he was full from eating all of his cheese on that thing with a hole in it.

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